Remembering

Memorial day has come.

And although I'm so very thankful to the people who have served our country, this holiday I now spend remembering a different event.  This marks the time when we went through my miscarriage (previous posts here & here).

1 year ago when it happened, I never thought I'd be where I am now.  I never thought I'd get over the horribleness and traumatic complications of that day.  I didn't think I'd be able to go about life without dwelling on what happened.  I was looking into a black tunnel and could barely see light.

But now I feel like I can say that I've made it through to the other side of the tunnel.

God is gracious.  He has brought me to a place of peace that passes understanding...where I don't constantly question "why" anymore, but trust His better plan.  And He's opened my eyes the wonderful blessings this past year has brought us and I'm very thankful.  Some days still feel dark, especially on "anniversaries" like this.  I still have tears.  The memories of that day still cause me deep pain.  It hasn't been forgotten or swept under a rug.  But now there's hope in Him that brings me back, and there's nothing more comforting than that.

I don't mean to be depressing or draw your pity.  I write and bring it up because not only is it something impactful that happened to me, but I want to be an encouragement to others who are in my position.  I've heard the phrase that "your greatest ministries come from your deepest hurt," so that's what I want to do...share the light.  

I hope everyone spends time remembering this Memorial day.  Not just on our country or other things like mine, but on God's faithfulness to make beauty from the ashes.